Reflections: Christmas 2012

So exactly a week ago i received an unexpected “What’s App” message from someone who reminded me to “Enjoy the holidays”. At the time, i was like “Yeah right, what’s there to enjoy about working a 16hr day on the 25^th of December 2012?” I must admit that in the days leading up to Christmas my “Holiday Cheer” was non-existent. 

However, this Christmas turned out to be symphony that was penned in heaven itself. We had the privilege of hosting some really good family friends; the Chibotas. My dad and uncle Ken are a testimony of a friendship that has stood the test of time. These two remarkable men have been friends since the mid-sixties when then met in Form 1. That’s a friendship that has spanned some 40-something years. It’s a friendship that i would say was forged in heaven, as it has grown and remained relevant in all this time. What is especially amazing to me is that it has been transferred to their wives, as well as to us their children (six in total between them, three girls, three boys). This Christmas it was the parents & the three girls as the boys are all over-seas. It was a time reminiscent of Christmases spent together when we were younger (1990 in Harare & 1996 in Nyanga stand out the most). It was a blessed time of sharing, eating and praying together.

The Chibotas were in Swaziland for seven days, but i only managed to spend three days with them. We had an especially special time together in those three days. Amazing how now that we’re all grown-up our relationships as friends have also grown. Even the way we relate to our parents has been dynamically transformed. It was interesting to watch soccer (Boxing Day) and “talk shop” with the dads. Uncle Ken was especially interested in my work, the details of my job and my career in general, (he runs his own company in Zim). Then there were the serious heart to hearts with the “sisters”, coupled with a few “pretty pink drinks” and giggles. I had the privilege of getting to know my little sister Runyararo (she’s the youngest of all six kids), who has grown into a beautiful and accomplished young woman . I had last seen her when she was in Form 4 (16yrs old). Now she is 23 yrs old and a recent UCT Graduate. Wow, i truly enjoyed her company and crazy antics (i blame it on the 4^th Street “Wine Drink”). We’ve since made plans for me to visit her in Cape Town sometime in April; can’t wait! J And how can i forget the special conversation on Sunday (23^rd) afternoon with the moms who decided to impart some wisdom on what it means to be “good and godly wife” (for the record I was ambushed into this conversation). Both my mom and auntie Jen are marriage counsellors and decided they should share some horror stories of young marriages ending up on the rocks. These cautionary tales were meant to highlight the common pitfalls of “African (or should i say Shona) Marriages in the 21^st Century” so that as their daughters we can hopefully avoid them. Heavy for a Sunday afternoon; but a blessing nonetheless. Interesting though; since all 3 of us (the girls) are currently single – maybe they were being prophetic...lol.

Friday the 28^th of December was the second instalment of our “Post-Xmas” Xmas Dinner with my girlfriends. What a night! Copious amounts of really, really good food (from start to finish). The dish of the night (for me at least) had to be my sister’s “Chilli-Cheese-Garlic Bread”. Loyce who was the self-appointed DJ was spinning Old-Skool tracks like “Weekend Special” by Brenda Fassie. I was amazed that we all knew the lyrics, (which we probably committed to memory back in the mid-90s when we were children watching “Mbvenge Mbvenge” on ZBC in Zim). Prisca was the camera lady, video/photo she had them all covered. Vimbai became the “Dance-master” whilst Prim and I provided some comedy relief. The night was fun, as much fun as five women who’ve had a tough year and want to cut loose can get up to... This is a new tradition that i hope we can keep going for as long we’re all in the same postal code. It was a celebration of life and friends; a memorable night.

So, i guess i did enjoy the holidays (thoroughly). I was working every single one of these days, but i somehow managed to find a “balance”, and actually celebrate this season with those that are nearest and dearest to me.  As 2012 is about to give way to 2013, i can say that Christmas 2012 has been the “cherry on top” of an interesting year. What memories to end off with!

What's Cooking this Christmas?

So, the countdown towards Christmas has begun with just 7 days left.  Plenty to look forward to, time spent with family, friends over good food, good wine, and good conversation. R me however the countdown is not to the 25^th of December however. The 25^th has become another day at the office, having worked every Christmas and Boxing Day since 2007! It’s a day that I commit myself to making everyone else’s Christmas Memorable at the Lodge. There is not much thought given to my Christmas, as my family and friends take a back seat on this day. I remember in 2008 my mom really wanting me to be part of Christmas at home. She opted to make dinner as opposed to lunch. I made it in time for dinner after my day at work, but didn’t make it through the meal as I was too exhausted, and turned in early.

Last year my sister and I, along with 3 other friends thought to ourselves “Who said that we need to celebrate Christmas on the 25^th?” We decided to start a new tradition that would take into consideration my hectic work schedule as well as that of my friends who are also in this industry. We decided that we would have Christmas Dinner on the 28^th, and we’d make sure it was every bit over the top and indulgent as possible. In 2011 the menu included Gammon, Stuffed Duck, a whole Red Roman Fish from Mozambique which we braaied, plenty of “drinks”, and of course a generous helping of silly stories and laughs recounting our experiences in 2011.  After a full day of cooking (I was the host); we enjoyed an amazing evening celebrating the Gift of Life, Love and Friendships!

 

 

We’ve decided to have a 2^nd instalment of our “Post Christmas Dinner” in 2012, again on the 28^th of December. The menu is every bit as indulgent (if not more) as the one we had last year. My friend Prisca has urged us to go bigger and better (but the cooking will be distributed this time). Whilst everyone else is rightly looking forward to the 25^th, we are anticipating the days that come after, as we take a short time-out to enjoy an evening together as friends, celebrating yet another year, and looking forward to the next instalment in 2013.

2012 Xmas Menu

Garlic Bread----Vimbai

Greek Salad----Loyce

Beetroot Salad----Vimbai

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Rolled Stuffed Fillet Of Beef (on hot coals)----Nyasha

Stuffed Roast Turkey----Prisca

Grilled Prawns or Lobster (on hot coals)----Nyasha

Roast Crispy Potatoes----Loyce

Vegetable Gratin----Nyasha

Gravy---- Prisca

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Christmas Pudding With Brandy Cream----Prisca

Peppermint Crisp Ice Cream with Bar One Chocolate Sauce----Nyasha

Palmiers----Vimbai

Fresh Fruit Salad----Loyce

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Beverages

Welcome Boozy Punch ---Nyasha

Red Wine----Nyasha (from collection)

Other Soft Drinks ----Loyce & Vimbai

Juicy Funny Tales of 2012 --- Everyone!!

 

 

 

Zimbabwe: Land of my Heart

Two months ago, I was able to take a much deserved and overdue break (3 weeks leave) from my rather hectic job. I didn’t have very concrete plans on what I was going to do during my leave. Much of my plan was to do a bit of pottering around my garden in anticipation of the early summer rains, spend time visiting friends, and just generally chilling. It was not part of my plan (or budget) to spend 3 weeks in Zimbabwe. As with earlier in the year; my parents asked me to “step-in” and accompany my mom to Zim to attend to some pressing matters. Since I didn’t really have a plan for my time off; I acquiesced, and embarked on yet another monumental road-trip to the motherland (I drove from Beitbridge to Rusape in one day, some 850kms)

My hesitation in going to Zim a second time in one year  was more to do with the fact that our visits there seemed to be of a “hit & run” nature where the program is so jam packed you hardly have a moment to breathe! When I was there this past January we spent 8 out of 9 days in the car, and I was the designated driver; hardly the kind of stuff to look forward to when you need to just relax, and generally zone-out.  But having agreed to go, I prayed that I would be able to relax, and enjoy being there. God is faithful. Being in Zim was EXACTLY what I needed. It was Awesome!

We left Zimbabwe when I was 11yrs old, a lifetime ago it seems. For the longest time, (some 5 or 6 yrs) I used to resent my parents for tearing me away from friends, and not being close enough to enjoy the “life” that many of them seemed to be enjoying. It was only when I was in Matric that I began to embrace the decision my parents had made for our family by moving to Swaziland. Though I have been out of Zim for almost 20years, it truly holds a special place in my heart. I used to remember crying real tears every time we’d leave to come back to Swaziland after a Christmas holiday (or something) and thinking “it’s not fair”.  Anyone who is from Zim (and visits regularly) will tell you that many things have changed since 2000 and some of the change is heart breaking. What I found encouraging on this visit was that although there is plenty of evidence of the devastation caused by the economic meltdown (most evident in the agricultural sector); there is also a very tangible spirit of resilience and determination among the populace.

My trip this time allowed me to see parts of Zim that I have never seen before. My mom remembered that you can drive directly from Chivhu to Rusape (where my granny lives) via Murmabinda, and come out in Nyazura, the former Tobacco-rich farming community close to Rusape. It’s amazing that on this rather long stretch of road (250kms) time seemed to have stood still. There were vast expanses of land stretching as far as the eye could see. The eerie granite outcrops and kopjies were magnificent. As we were driving my mom was telling me that this area of Zim is rich in natural minerals and precious stones (including diamonds). The road was in excellent condition (mainly because there’s not much heavy traffic), one of the last infrastructure projects of the late 90’s before things went pear-shaped. One of my great-uncles actually worked on the road during the construction of the 12 major bridges which traverse major rivers like the Rusape; Odzi and Save. It was truly refreshing to be in different scenery (as opposed to the usual Harare/Beitbridge road) and a great opportunity to gain a history lesson. The vastness and beauty of Zimbabwe was evident all around me.  (see map: https://maps.google.co.za/maps?hl=en&tab=wl )

 

One of the trips I took alone was to Chinhoyi, west of Harare to visit my Uncle and Aunt who I had last seen back in 2007 during a family reunion function. This was going to be an adventure as I was going to be confronted with the public transport system in Zim. My cousin had warned me that the best thing to do was get a kombi from town (Harare downtown), as I would be guaranteed transport. Instead I decided to chance it and wait at a busy “bus-stop” on Lomagundi road near Westgate shopping centre. My parents’ home is in that part of Harare so it made sense. I had to learn quickly that transport in Zim is a novelty. The bus-stop was full, and all the kombis which were coming by were full. It became apparent that that the thing to do was stop a “lift” and hitch a ride with complete strangers or else be one of 8 or 9 passengers hitching a ride in a “gonyet” (18 Wheeler Long Distance truck). Neither of the options particularly appealed to me, so I decided to be patient and wait for kombi, all the while silently praying that one would come along. Eventually after more than an hour my prayers were answered, and I was on my way. The last time I had been on this stretch of road was when we were returning from a family trip to Kariba back in ’96. My memory was of many farms, flourishing with maize crops, and cattle. 16 yrs later, the scenery revealed something bleaker; vast tracts of once productive land lying fallow; farming compounds long-deserted. I later found out that the few farms which are operational in that area either belong to really powerful politicians or were hawked off to the Chinese. I have to admit that this trip did evoke a sense of sadness and despair of what has been lost in the last 12 or so years.
 

Back in Harare after a few days out of town, I was able to make contact with some old friends from my University days, one of whom I had last seen in 2007. These phenomenal young women are both entrepreneurs, tenaciously pursuing their dreams of a new and better Zimbabwe. Spending time in Harare (barring the power-cuts, water interruptions, lack of streetlights and potholed roads) you really get the sense of a progressive African metropolis. I spent some time right in the heart of Harare and the energy there is contagious. It seems everyone is busy doing something. Zimbabweans are resourceful, enterprising people and there’s no other place where this is more evident than in Harare. I used to go for early morning jogs in our neighbourhood and I marvelled at the degree of new developments coming up (commercial; residential). The city is alive with activity. Both of the friends who I visited shared the same sentiment that this where they believe that their dreams will materialise. Having lived and studied outside the country both returned to start building their business empires. One owns a successful chain of pre-schools which is now growing into a primary school.  The other is partners with her mom in the retail of sportswear and gear, the go-to-people regarding anything to do with sports. I was privileged to be in their company, and gain insight into a different (more affluent) aspect of life in Zimbabwe. The lesson I gained was that the general sentiment is “let’s get on with the business of living”. We enjoyed a jazz concert featuring Ladysmith Black Mambazo; nights out at the latest eateries; enjoying an intimate dinner-party at home.

When it came time to leave, I genuinely felt that the time had been too short! I could have enjoyed another week or two. I enjoyed reconnecting with people, and just being in Zim: drinking copious amounts of “Cherry Plum” and Mazoe Orange, savouring a “Green Giant” Ice Cream; eating maputi (my cousin and i scored a whole bale of the road which was still intact) and indulging in many other simple pleasures that evoked the Zimbabwe of my childhood. The Zimbabwe that is so intrinsically knit within my being, the one i carry in my heart.  When I returned to Swaziland, I realised that my break was exactly what I needed, a total refreshing of mind, body and soul.

I’ve already lined up my next visit for March 2013 – can’t wait

 



 

 

Settling in for the Long Haul...

Yho! 2012 is just about done, and what a whirlwind year it has been.

The majority of my blogs have been a true reflection of the struggles I have faced this year. Whilst I haven’t listed each problem individually, they have all worked together in stretching the limits of my spiritual, emotional and mental capacities. Yes, as we say in Shona “Ndakaona & ndichirikuona moto” ; translated  "I saw and I’m still seeing flames". The flames of the test as it were.  The one encouragement I have drawn on is what James writes in James 1: 2 – 4 “² My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (NKJV). I’ve experienced tremendous lows this past year, mainly because I had the perspective and attitude that surely things can’t get any worse; and surely this is not what life is meant to be; it can’t be this hard? Can it? And ofcourse when things have turned out for the worst on occassion i began to wonder "What happened to victory? Plain sailing? Happy Days?"

Yesterday, I read a quote by Joyce Meyer that said “Victory is not the absence of problems; it’s the presence of God’s Power”.  Such a simple truth. As I was mulling this over, I realised that yeah, on the surface 2012 is probably one of those years that I should file under “Years to Forget”; but in as much as I would like to forget a lot of what this year has brought along my way, it has also been a hallmark year, worthy of celebration. For the first time in my life I can truly say, “Yes I believe in miracles” as I have witnessed God’s miraculous provision - Financially, Spiritually, Emotionally etc at every turn. I can celebrate and say “Yes, His word is alive” because I have come to know the experience of His word at work in my life. I’ve come to learn that when I pray “Lord enlarge my territory” He will stretch my boundaries so that I am able to accommodate more capacity. Whilst it will mean some degree of “pain”, it will also usher in tremendous growth; and truthfully there is no growth without pain.  

I love Acts 17:26 – 28. God knew that I would be exactly where I am in 2012. This job, in this company, in this nation at this very time/season. He pre-appointed the boundaries of my dwelling. He knew what I would be facing in every area of my life, and He made the provision of Grace and wisdom for me to bear up in each circumstance, situation so that as I testify; all glory would belong to Him. God is good!

As the year winds up, I am grateful that 2012 has been all that it has been and then some! I am grateful that I have seen some storms, as treacherous and challenging as some of them have been. I am grateful that these storms have taught me to lift my eyes heavenward (Psalm 121). I grateful that this season of testing is producing perseverance and patience within me. It’s determining and fashioning my convictions. It is proving my faith, proving my mettle. I am grateful that though at times I have sown in tears, I know that the harvest of joy will surely come my way.

5 weeks left to go, and I know that I was born for such a time as this! So, I’m going to settle into this season in my life (even though i don't know how long it will be), because I know that “this too shall pass” because “ Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfilment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”(Luke 1:45)

Gourmet on a Shoestring Budget...

So I don’t know if it’s just me, but seems that the Rand is not what it used to be. There was a time I could pop into Pick ‘n Pay and pick up 10 items with R100.00.  Now I’m lucky if I can walk out of the shop with 5 or 6 items for the same R100.00.

I’m the kind of person that looks forward to grocery shopping. I generally enjoy the entire ritual of making the list, and the meandering down every aisle picking up what is on the list (as well as a few extra items). I always feel a sense of accomplishment, and can’t wait to get home to pack my food cupboard with all my purchases, each item awaiting it’s date with a wave of inspiration when it shall be turned into some scrumptious dish to eat. I have to admit that lately this activity has been dampened by the increase in food prices. On my last few trips I’ve left the shops feeling somewhat depressed at the amount of money I spent on pretty much the same stuff I always buy. As I was tallying up my monthly expenses 2 months ago, I saw that it was becoming trickier to remain within my food budget. The question was, could I find a way to be smarter in my purchases, or would I have to “downgrade” my taste and preference in food? (God forbid!!)  With the way I love food, I knew I would have to become smarter, and perhaps tweak my eating habits a little bit.

I had already started making and freezing soup, so I thought what else can I be doing to maximise my rands in the food department? I remembered that in January I joined in the corporate “Daniel Fast” at church, which only allowed eating of vegetables. Those 21 days were interesting to say the least, but I learnt during that time that vegetarian dishes can be very tasty, if you give them enough time and attention. In addition vegetables are waaaaay cheaper than meat, especially when purchased fresh at the market. In Swaziland we are blessed that fresh produce is readily available at very affordable prices. I even haggle with local vendors over price and make sure that I get my “bansela” (freebie) EVERY time. I decided to start buying spinach which I could blanch and then freeze, ready to be used whenever I fancied it. It’s a time consuming exercise, but it’s worth it; especially now that spinach is no longer readily available at the market. Aside from the preserving of vegetables, I thought it would be cool to incorporate a “vegetarian night” at least twice a week, a night where I would consciously choose NOT to eat meat. So far it’s going okay, forced me to be creative about dinner on those nights, and I am still amazed at how delicious some of the recipes actually are: Sweet Potato & Butternut Bake; Three Bean Curry; Rice and Red Kidney Bean Bake; Spinach Surprise...the list can go on.

Now being African to the core, no diet is complete without MEAT! We all know that meat is probably the single most expensive item on our grocery shopping list. I remember how my mom used to order meat from our local butchery by the kilos, and after she collected it she would spend a good part of her day packing the meat into meal-size portions. Now the idea of the “local butcher” is almost non- existent because we buy from the supermarket. We don’t even know who is behind the scenes preparing the nicely packed meat we see in the cold section. Also; the prices at the supermarket are prohibitive to say the least. Even if I wanted to but mince-meat in bulk, I couldn’t afford to pay the R49.99 per kilo they were asking. I decided to investigate buying meat “wholesale”, like we do at the Lodge where I work. After getting a price list, I saw that meat from the wholesaler was anything from R8.00 – R15.00 per kilo cheaper than the supermarket depending on the cut. Furthermore, I had the opportunity of telling the butcher how I wanted my meat cut. For example I could buy 1kg of Pork Loin Chops cut into 500g (i.e. 2 monster chops). I also decided to investigate cheaper cuts such as chuck (with or without the bone in). Now chuck is meat that is normally used in “pap ‘n vleis” (sadza nenyama). It has a large amount of fat, and can be tough if not handled properly. In my investigations I found out that chuck is the meat of choice used in many classic American meat dishes. It is also the meat that is used in making pastrami. After watching a few episodes of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” I realised that it seems to the staple meat of many of the interesting diner dishes out there. So I Google’d a few recipes using chuck, and was amazed that the possibilities seemed limitless J

So in my bid to keep abreast of inflation and the recessionary impact on my kitchen purchases, I have acquired the following "pearls of wisdom":

·         Buying Meat from a Wholesaler definitely leaves more change in your pocket to spend on the luxuries (Olive Oil, Caper Berries, Double Chocolate Rusks, and Snicker’s Stash etc.). Also allows you to build a relationship with the butcher, who can tailor make your meat order. Investigate the use of cheaper cuts; there is a world of amazing recipes out there. Anything can taste great if handled with TLC! www.allrecipes.com , www.foodnetwork.com,

·         Vegetables! Way cheaper and can be converted into really amazing no-meat meals, with the added benefit of being healthy for you.

·         Buy in bulk where possible. SPAR recently had a ridiculous special on Clover Milk (less than R8 a litre!!) I Jumped at it and won’t be buying milk till the end of January 2013!! (be sure to check the xpiry dates though)

·         Specials, Specials, SPECIALS! This is especially great for buying household cleaning stuff. Those 3 for 2 deals mean you may only buy these items once a year. This means more change for that trip to the newest restaurant in town.

·         Don’t be scared of “No-Name” Brands. I was so brand conscious, and used to preach "If it ain’t “ALL GOLD” it ain’t Tomato Sauce”. Doesn’t hurt to revise some of the “standards” you’re used to.  

What's crazy about these lessons is that it's finally dawned on me that; “Wow! I AM turning into my mom!!” But hey, I guess that’s growing up.

Management is NOT for sissies...

Today has been a day like none other I have ever experienced in my brief 30yr existence. I had to terminate an employee today. Nothing leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth quite like ending someone’s livelihood – even if it was the right thing to do.

2012 has been a baptism of fire on the work front. As a young manager I have been confronted with every imaginable management crisis that is common in all business. Just when I thought, “Phew, 3 months to go then 2012 is closed, I’ve seen and done it all” I was hammered with a new kind of crisis. I was away on leave for 3 glorious weeks. No cell phone, no laptop, no communication whatsoever with anything work related. It was bliss! As of today I have been back in the office for 10days, and it’s been a helluva 10 days at that.

I have a philosophy that I try to live by, something my dear granny always says; “azvigonera azviitira; asi azvitadzira azviitira futi”. Loosely translated “he who does well, has done it for himself; but he who has done badly has also done it for himself”. I manage a staff compliment of 33 people. We’re small enough for us to interact more like a family rather than an institution. 2012 has been a year of reckoning, and it’s not been an easy road. My personal mandate,(in as much as it is up to me) has always been to safeguard the welfare of my staff to the best of my ability.

Now anyone who is in management or runs a business will know that the toughest thing out there is dealing with people. It’s a daily training ground (or battlefield), one which I believe is a life-long experience in that, it will never end.  Anyway, upon my return from leave I was informed by a member of my management team that there was scheduled Disciplinary Enquiry into misconduct by an employee. In my (almost) 2 years in charge we’ve only had to pursue this course of action once (the guy got off with a Final Written Warning), so I knew it was serious. Once I was up to speed with the details I knew that should the employee be found guilty it would mean termination. It’s been a long 7 days awaiting the outcome and recommendations from the chairperson. During that time I replayed all possible outcomes and scenarios in my mind. What would I do? Was I capable of carrying out the sanction? A couple of nights I couldn’t sleep, wrestling with the decision I would probably be called to make.

Throughout the week, my biggest frustration has been being put into this position in the first place. I kept thinking “Don’t people grasp that we’re in a recession, people are being retrenched, etc. this is hardly a time to make mistakes, especially those that may result in unemployment”.  I hated that I would have to make a decision that will so drastically alter someone’s life. I hated that in not making that decision it would also drastically alter the culture and character of our company (for the worse - Anarchy would prevail). Is this what “management” was all about? Being the “boss-lady”, “queen-bee”? Yah...I had come face to face with a real ugly reality about being “in-charge”; a lonely reality at that. 

My day today was pretty much messed up from about 10.30am after I carried out the sanction. In my heart I have peace, complete and utter peace that I did the right thing, however it’s a hollow victory. Enforcing discipline although not always pleasant; is absolutely necessary. I’ve learnt today that being the boss means that you must take the good with the bad. That you need to act decisively, because whether I acknowledge it or not – ALL eyes are on me. Of course there will be some fall-out in the next few days, weeks, (strained staff relations etc) but what I can say is that as horrible as this experience was for me, I know that I am all the better and stronger for it.

New Beginnings

As many people do, as they approach the end of June, I began to reassess my goals and priorities for the year. As per my previous posts, my rosy 2012 seemed to have been hi-jacked by the not so pretty reality of challenges on every front.  Time was flying as it usually does, and already I was approaching the half-year mark, the first 6 months seemingly resembling the aftermath of a series of battles or skirmishes. I was fed –up, and frankly just plain sick and tired with what 2012 was dishing out.  Sometime mid-June I decided that I enough was enough! Things HAD to change. I determined that the latter half of this year would be a stark contrast to the former – My outlook needed to change, and my perspective shifted. I decided that I was not going to just “let” things happen, and just accept things as is.

I made the conscious decision to dedicate the month of July to praying and fasting. A dear friend had shared with me how she had changed the way she was praying, as a result of similar frustrations. I figured that maybe in order to break free of the repetitive cycle of angst, worry, stress, tears etc that appeared to be the script of 2012 up until that point; I needed to become radical, and actually dare to believe what the bible says.

It’s been an awesome time of soul-searching and gut wrenching prayer. I am so excited by the new level of understanding and revelations I have gained about my life in general, and how I am to respond with the Christ given authority that I have already been given. I also took the opportunity to make a conscious break from my past, and any hang-ups I was harbouring over a myriad of issues and things. God is faithful! July was already littered with breakthroughs and awesome displays of God’s goodness towards me. I know for sure that things are shifting and changing.

 I decided to take things a step further through an outward declaration of the new things happening in my life, and in anticipation of what the next 5 months of this year have in store. August is the 8^th month of the year, and 8 is the number for “New Beginnings”! No better time to make a clean break from the “old” me (outlooks, mindset etc) and embrace the renewed, refreshed and re-energised Nyasha!

Little White Lies...

Phew! I am so smiling right now, I have what the bible calls “the peace that surpasses all understanding, guarding my heart and mind”. God is good.

So I had this “situation” at work, where in previous weeks, I had not responded to certain requests made to me by members of my staff. I figured, if I don’t answer, they’ll stop asking.  In effect what my silence did was create an element of suspicion and distrust, and I found myself with the possibility of being cornered and having to spill the beans. I had created an illusion about something and the bubble was soon to burst. Last week Tuesday I was in “a state” because I thought “eish, now EVERYONE will know that I lied, or was rather I was “creative” with the truth” (same thing).

The prideful Nyasha came to the fore and I became indignant, thinking to myself “How dare they question me? My Motives? My integrity!”...but at the back of my mind a small voice said “Well you have not been completely honest have you now?” So started my sleepless night on how I could possibly salvage the situation, and the repercussions of becoming even more “creative” with the truth, versus just telling the truth. I woke up early on Wednesday morning unable to sleep because my conscience wouldn’t let me, and I started praying for a way out. The solution was not what I wanted it to be; hell it was FAR from my plan. But it was very simple – I had to tell the truth. Not just to myself, but to those that I had misled and let me be honest; also lied to, but most importantly I had to make peace with God. Yeah, swallow my pride; admit my shortcomings, not just in my prayer time, but publically... Eish!

The bible says in James 5:16 “Confess to one another your trespasses, that you may be healed...” I thought it weird that I should think of this passage. I didn’t need healing, I wasn’t sick. But I began to realise that mind was sick. I had created a pattern of behaviour over this issue which would surely lead to my destruction, and had no one else to blame but me! I realised the truth of the phrase “integrity is what you’re willing to do when you think no one is looking”, and eish I had been nabbed! I decided to confess my duplicity, and ask for forgiveness; knowing that doing so during my quiet time was going to be a lot easier than in front of several pairs of accusing eyes. But I decided that this is it, this is the plan, and I need to stick with it. Interestingly enough, I was on leave when this whole thing was about to blow up in my face, and after making my decision to tell the truth, I still had 5 days before I was due to return to work. 5 loooooooong days where I wrestled more than once with my decision. 5 days when I kept thinking “surely I don’t have to tell the WHOLE truth”...hehehhehehhe....

Right now I have just come out of a long meeting, where by the time I went in, I decided that I would tell the whole truth, I would lay it all there, admit my lies, and heck see what happens. God in his infinite goodness knows that the truth is truly the remedy we need to a lot of our problems. I can honestly sit here right now and say that yeah, it was hairy at times, and I really, really, really feel as though I could have done ANYthing else, but what I just had to do. But I realised that in telling the truth, this thing is no longer hanging over my head stealing sleep away from me. I have been released from that bondage of keeping that “secret”, and also believing that I am “invincible”. I have realised that being transparent in some situations allows others to see that at the end of the day I am human, I don’t have it all together yet, it’s not all figured out. There’s freedom in that, but there is even more freedom in being able to say “I am sorry; can we start over?”

I suspect I will sleep a lot better tonight now that is off my chest...

Hanging on a Prayer

The bible calls us to boldly approach the throne of grace. We are to be confident and bold when we come before the Lord with our prayers. I recall something that our Campus Pastor at Uni used to say, that we should always be mindful of what we pray, and we should not be surprised when God starts doing something in response to those prayers. Often when we pray we already have a pre-conceived idea of how we want the situation to turn out, how we expect God to respond; how the blessing should be packaged or even how long we think the trial and pressure should last. We often forget that God is sovereign and what he desires more for and of us as His children, is often much bigger and better than we can imagine; just the road to getting there may not always what we have hoped for or envisioned.

I was paging through my prayer journal and I came across a prayer that I prayed earlier this year, I write my prayers down so that when I see the answered prayers I can go back to the point of reference and really see just how much God has done for me. On this particular occasion I was praying for my work situation and my prayer went something like this:
“Father I commit this new year to you... Teach me to take the authority you have given me to overcome strife, financial challenges so that you may establish your vision for my workplace. Help me to step into my calling in that place; to be a witness and minister of your gospel through my deeds, my dealings, my words, and my actions.  Gird me with more strength of character; more insight and discernment; more peace. Teach me to do battle on my knees; both corporately and privately. Anchor me in your word; may it become my compass and my map. Teach me to hide it in my heart; to eat from it and be filled. Teach me to pray for others, standing in the gap for them... “
 Even as I type this I am thinking, “WOW, how hectic! What was I thinking?” hehehehehehehhehe

I am sharing this because in the past 3 or so months I have been seeing “flames” on the work front! (Kuona moto) It seems to be one battle after the other, never letting up. The challenges keep rolling into one another, seemingly like a snowball that keeps gathering momentum. Many times I have thought “Lord when will this all end? When will I feel like a can breathe?” It’s been a hectic time. Interestingly today as I have been meditating and praying about my life, I was reminded of my January prayer. It’s amazing that as I read it now that everything that I prayed is what‘s going on in my life right now in terms of spiritual growth (the underlined bits). It’s struck me that we never actually know HOW God is going to bring about His purpose in our lives. What He requires is that we’re open to the process. If someone had said to me “Nyasha; in-order for  you  to have a more established faith, a deeper and enriched prayer life; and greater awareness of His presence in your everyday life in 2012; you will need to walk the hectic path that you are currently on”  I would have told them they were crazy! Surely the path to spiritual growth cannot be that difficult? Yet, it is as it is.

I realised that in order for me to become the person that I desire to be, strong and anchored in the word, whose faith is resolute; then I MUST accept that this season right now is the trench in which my battles are being fought. We are living in extremely challenging times. Situations and circumstances can be overwhelming, scary, frustrating, and discouraging. Drama; drama and even more DRAMA! However God has encouraged us that “the righteous shall live by faith”, BUT our faith does need to be proved. I am comforted that God is answering my prayer in a very BIG way (although at times painful). This is the very road that I must walk, these steps have been ordered and I must trust that God being the author and finisher of my faith, will bring it all full circle, and as James 1 says, I will be able to say that I am “mature, lacking in nothing”.  Once we have had the courage to pray bold courageous prayers that will bring inward change into our lives, God then calls us to persevere; to not try and short-circuit His process, because at the end of it all, we will be better people for it (James 1:2 – 5).  I shared a few weeks back that Faith makes things possible, and not necessarily easy, and boy have i seen that in recent weeks. As tough as it is some days, we need to hold on or just hang in there, all the while encouraging ourselves through the word.

Sometimes the night may seem very long, but what we know for sure is that dawn will break and the sun rise.

Unexpected Lessons

Having been raised in the “Diaspora”, we did not have many relatives visiting or staying with us as is commonly practised back home in Zim. Living in a foreign country “family” meant the five of us: parents, my two siblings and me. We missed out on a lot of family gatherings and just general interaction with members of my extended family. On my dad’s side of the family we are an extremely large contingent of people. In my generation alone, there are 36 cousins, with and age group (currently) spanning mid- 50s to 10 yrs old. I know all my cousins, but I can be honest and say that I have a consistent relationship with maybe 15% of them.  The same goes for my uncles and aunts, there are those that we were close to us growing up (despite the distance) and others who I know, but have never really had any kind of relationship with that goes beyond sharing the same bloodlines.

My uncle, my dad’s eldest brother has been staying with us for a little over a month. He is the eldest brother of 7 brothers, and will soon be celebrating his 80^th birthday. Whilst growing up I had a very austere view of this man. My most vivid childhood memory of my interactions with him were that this was a hard man, never smiling, strict to the core (he was a High School Headmaster most of his professional teaching career). In my childish arrogance, I felt this man was stubbornly entrenched in extreme conservatism, unwilling to change with the times. My rather skewed view and misgivings about uncle stemmed from an incident that happened when I was 12 yrs old during a family reunion. It is customary where we come from for girls to offer a dish for clean water for elders to wash their hands before a meal. Now anyone reading this that comes from a Shona background may appreciate the notion of “Protocol” in conducting this act. In my innocence and ignorance, I did not observe protocol on this occasion and proceeded to receive a rather humiliating reprimand from my uncle, the head of the entire family. Needless to say I did not see it necessary to pursue any interest in establishing a relationship with my uncle for the next 18 yrs.

On a trip to Zim this past January, my uncle to came to visit us at our home, and I was struck at how much time had passed. I had managed to create an ogre-like image of this man in my mind, yet the person that I was chatting to was nothing like what I had held onto for so long. When it was decided that he should come and spend some time in Swaziland, I had some mixed feelings. I wasn’t too worried though because I don’t live at home anymore (though I do visit frequently). I was however apprehensive about my interactions with him, even how I should dress in his presence (he is old-school Shona – Women don’t wear pants, jeans, short skirts etc).  I also realised that his visiting us in Swaziland would mean that I had to let go of that silly 12yr-old attitude that I had developed, and open up to learning about this man, and getting to know him.

Its incredible how quickly the time has gone by. My uncle is leaving to return to Zim during the course of this week, and I feel as though the time has been too short. I was actually looking forward to my visits at my parent’s home, and having those perfunctory conversations with him. I’ve learned in the recent weeks that my uncle is not the mean, hard man I always imagine him being. He has a sense of humour, albeit wicked (he has some really cruel jokes). It was refreshing when he would unexpectedly pipe up with a hectic diss, lol... With all the life that he has already seen, he retains a sense of wonder at some things that I take for granted, always eager to gather new knowledge, an ever-inquiring mind. Though soccer is his sport of choice, he became converted to supporting cricket, tennis, and any other sport that is a favourite in our home. I discovered that he is extremely self-disciplined. He watches what he eats, looks after health and maintains his fitness (all lessons which could help me right now).  What I appreciated most was his incredible love and concern for his family, his children, biological and extended. He has a serious desire for all of us to go home and have a reunion this December. A time that will allow people to get to know each other again, and enjoy fellowship as the "Kavumbura Clan." He also revealed a solid and steadfast faith. He is resolute in his beliefs, and his convictions are not easily shaken or swayed. Yes I discovered that my uncle is an incredible man; faith-filled, resolute, disciplined, caring and loving.

I felt incredibly humbled and blessed today. He saw it fit to honour an invitation I had extended for him to visit me at my place before he leaves to return to Zim. We had a memorable time, plenty of great laughs and way too much food (oh yes!). I really felt honoured to have him visiting me, at my place. I realised that true wealth is those moments spent with the people that you love. There is nothing that nourishes the soul more than that. I also realised that it’s worth making an effort to take the time to learn about someone. Become re-acquainted, and find new common ground. I am grateful for the last 6 weeks, for having the opportunity to get to know my uncle, to have been able to serve him, and honour him as a daughter. Such opportunities are God-given, blessings to be cherished.

"Soups by Kay"

Anyone who knows me knows that I love love LOVE good food in all its different forms, shapes, sizes. I enjoy trying out new and interesting flavours, always pushing the pushing the boundaries of adventurism.  Aside from enjoying partaking in the activity of actually eating, I also love cooking. I can’t bake to save my life, but give me a few saucepans and some peace and quiet in the kitchen I can whip up something memorable. I sometimes laugh at myself that my interest in cooking does get extreme. I can decide on Monday what I would like to eat on Friday and spend the entire week making the necessary preparations. I once remember my dad thinking I had gone mad one night when I managed to cook dinner, plus prepare a chicken curry which we were going to eat 2 nights later (curry is best served after at least 24hrs after it’s been cooked, becomes more flavoursome)... But yeah you get the picture, I love food, and I love cooking it!

In recent weeks I’ve started to expand my scope of culinary skills by venturing into making soups from scratch. For most of my life I’ve enjoyed “instant” soup from the packet by just adding boiling water and the occasional canned goodies from Woolies (when available, supply in Swaziland is not very consistent). At our restaurant at work, the kitchen prides itself on its homemade soups. I figured surely it can’t be that difficult. After spending a few hours on Google, I downloaded an arsenal of recipes to add to my newly formed “Soups” file to add to my recipe book collection. With winter now stretching its icy tentacles the timing could not be perfect. There’s no better way to warm up than with a steaming mug of hearty goodness.

 I started out with a relatively easy butternut and sweet potato soup, followed by a potato, leek & bacon number (yes I love potatoes).  After those successful attempts, I have decided to cook one different soup per week for the next two months June/July. The plan is to cook and freeze in portions so that when the local “Christmas in July Winter Fete” comes along, I may have some wares to sell, and share my newfound passion. The stall will be called “Soups by Kay”. My parents and sister are willing guinea pigs, and have proven to offer interesting feedback and pointers (influenced by too much Masterchef and Food Network Challenge )  Since most soups are vegetarian, ingredients are not difficult to come by. I was pleasantly surprised that my local Pick ‘n Pay does stock a very wide range of vegetables some which were making their debut on my kitchen shopping list (leeks).

Aside from the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment that cannot be substituted, the 45mins or so of “prep” in the kitchen has become a great way to de-stress; it’s my time to reflect on my day. The entire act of soup-making has become therapeutic in some ways. The end result is always worth the effort, and gets me excited to do all over again with a new recipe.

Tonight I shall enjoy the fruit of my labour and enjoy a creamy chicken and mushroom soup!

Sowing an Eternal Seed

Ephesians 2: 10 speaks about how we are God’s workmanship, created to perform good deeds which he ordained for us in advance.  I’ve read this verse many times, but for the first time this past Sunday I caught the revelation. The Pastor was challenging us to ask God every morning; to show us opportunities during the day to do the good that He has already ordained us to do as His workmanship. So I decided to put that into action yesterday morning...a simple sentence really is all it was.

At around lunch time whilst chatting to a friend at The Gables in Ezulwini, a rather panicked,  and crazed looking guy came up to us and started telling us how he forgot his bag on a kombi, and that this bag was his life, blah blah blah. He was just so distraught, but at the same time his story did sound a bit surreal. My friend Thabiso eagerly offered MY help, since I had a car and was going in the same direction. The plan was to chase down this white kombi (yes there are a few thousand white kombis in Swaziland) and try to get his bag back.  Since my help was volunteered, I had to go along. As we walked to the car, my friend Thabiso changed his mind as he wasn’t sure about this random guy, who looked a bit scruffy to say the least. He decided that he should come along to make sure that this guy’s story checked out.

In my mind I was like “Oh Boy” there goes the rest of my day, my fuel, and my time. I also have pressing problems; I got issues that need my attention. Despite my reservations, as well as my annoyance at having my time and car commandeered, I decided to help. We set out from The Gables in Ezuwini towards the direction of Mbabane. Thabiso decided to interrogate this guy, and his story was just a bit shady, and inconsistent. I thought to myself that this guy had just scored a free ride back to Mbabane. On our 14km drive to Mbabane we waved down 4 white kombis, each time the guy frantically jumped out of the car to try and find out if it was the correct kombi. On all four stops we were unsuccessful in finding this mystery bag. It became clear that we would need to do a search of white kombis at the Mbabane bus rank, and who knew how long this would take. Being the realist I began telling my new friend that though it was possible we would locate his bag (if there really was one), he should also prepare himself for the alternative happening. He then started telling me that his ticket back to the US was in that bag, his passport, cash, as well as a laptop which held 8 months worth of research that he had been conducting in 14 different African countries, the reason why he was in Swaziland as his last stop. For the first time since this fiasco started I started to feel for the guy. I secretly prayed that we would find the elusive white kombi and this guy’s stuff.  After about a 20min search, Thabiso and our new friend (who later introduced himself as David) were able to find the kombi, AND the bag.

It was such a relief, I was genuinely happy, and forgot my initial misgivings. As we returned to The Gables in Ezulwini, (yes David was still with us) I remembered my little prayer earlier in the day. A short simple sentence. I realised that there are always opportunities for us to do good, because God has already ordained it. He has already equipped me to be His agent of change. All He requires of me is to be open, ready and willing to be used by him. David was incredibly grateful that we would take time out of our day, and help him, a complete stranger to the extent that we did. He said that his faith mankind had just been restored.

I was touched, and realised that I also needed to repent of my initial attitude to helping him out. It was a lesson learnt – Always be willing to HELP! It’s an eternal seed that you sow, whose rewards you cannot even begin to fathom.

Feelings vs Truth

Two Sundays ago, one of the Pastors at church shared with us that the way we feel, will not always align with the truth of the word of God. That we may be going through pain and hardships that really make us FEEL awful, be it physically, mentally or emotionally. The trick he said was that at some point we will need to decide that the TRUTH is more important than how we may be feeling in that moment. The Truth is established, it is eternal, it is a sure foundation, and we should base our responses to life’s curve-balls on the truth.

A popular song by Don Moen from way back in the 90’s really lifted my spirits today. Whilst i was singing along, i realised that i was in effect professing the truth, and what i was feeling became inconsequential.

Chorus:
God is Good all the time, He put a song of praise in this heart of mine;
God is good all the time, through the darkest night His light will shine;
God is good, God is good, All the time.

Verse 1
If you’re walking through the valley, there are shadows all around:
Do not fear, He will guide you; He will keep you safe and sound;
He has promised to never leave you, nor forsake you;
And His word is true.

Chorus

Verse 2
We were sinners and so unworthy, still for us he chose to die,
Filled us with His Holy Spirit, now we can stand and testify;
That His love is everlasting, and His mercies;
They will never end.

Chorus

Bridge
Though i may not understand, all the plans that you have for me
My life is i your hands, and through the eyes of Faith i can clearly see

Chorus

I heard it said somewhere that "Our problems can never equal God's promises". I believe that this is true, because i could probably go on for an indefinite amount of time listing every promise that is contained in the word, and my problems will definitely pale in comparison.

So just like David said in Psalm 77, though he did not feel like it, i will also say:

“This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”¹¹ I will remember the works of the Lord;Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.¹² I will also meditate on all Your work,And talk of Your deeds.¹³ Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;Who is so great a God as our God?¹⁴ You are the God who does wonders;You have declared Your strength among the peoples.¹⁵ You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph." Selah

“Faith Makes Things Possible – It Does not Make Them EASY”

A dear friend of mine had this on his BBM status a few days ago, and the truth of this simple statement has resonated with me since.

I was visiting friends last night who are facing an impossible situation as a family. It’s something that as an outsider i can see has pushed them and everything they know and believe to the limits; their relationship, their friendships and their faith. My heart was breaking for them because i can totally empathise (i have got my own impossible challenges at the moment) with the emotional and mental strain that we sometimes have to endure because circumstances and situations in our lives have become hard, sometimes so much so that you wonder where you get the strength to get up in the morning and keep going. You’ve done all that you know to do, you’ve fasted, you’ve prayed and sometimes that prayer is nothing more than a silent one, marked by warm tears running down your face because the words elude you. Yet after all the earnest “performance” of having faith and believing, the difficulties relent, and just when you thought it could not get any worse, it does!

 It’s hit me, that God never said that by having faith, that things would be easy. But somehow, it’s been a theology that i have believed. I have equated my having/standing in faith with things/situations becoming easier. And when instead things get tougher, i somehow then believe that i don’t have enough faith! I’m sure many of us can identify with this feeling. So i decided to pray and ask God “What is your truth regarding faith and ease? I have faith, i believe that all things are possible for him who believes (Mark 9:23); but why is it so hard? Why don’t i see the changes coming, why don’t i see even a moment of relief from the pressure, even if it is for just a day?”  I then remembered something that our Senior Pastor is always saying to us – “His Grace is enough for whatever the situation/circumstance we’re facing. It is there to empower us to push THROUGH the strenuous, stretching and sometimes breaking times that we’re facing in our lives”. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 speaks of how Paul was pleading with God for a swift resolution to a problem he was facing. Instead God tells him “My grace is sufficient for you; for my strength is made perfect in weakness”.

My friends’ outlook and attitude are a testament to me that despite all the drama that they in the middle of right now, they know that there will come a time when they will look back and say, “you know we once faced something that threatened to break us, and destroy our faith, but yet we pulled through...” James 1:2- 4 says “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”

Having faith keeps us in the realm of hope, believing and knowing that we will emerge from the storm better for it. In the meantime, God’s grace will sustain us through the storm. He has promised that He does not give us more than we can bear.

His grace allows/enables us to continue standing in the face of the impossible.

Madam & Eve

A few weeks back I watched the much acclaimed movie “The Help” based on the experience and struggles of domestic helpers in America’s 1950’s. During the movie I felt a myriad of emotions, predominantly anger and indignation. They were given little or no respect; no thought was paid to their feelings, or concerns, let alone their individual dreams and aspirations. My grandmother worked as a domestic helper for over 20yrs, and from her stories, I grew up understanding that this is truly a gruelling job; one that sometimes yields very little rewards, or receives little praise, thanks and appreciation. After watching that movie, I had to question myself, and wonder what type of “madam” am I.

Last September I was extremely excited to move into a place of my own. Having my own place signified many things, but mostly it was the outward assertion of my independence.  My job is fairly hectic, and demands many hours of my time. This extreme dedication to my job means that priorities such as “good housekeeping” are generally low on my list of to do things. I saw early on that I would need help with some of the household responsibilities. So I decided to become a “madam” and employ someone who would come in once a week, to help with “thorough” cleaning. The lady that helps is Khetsiwe and she is truly a blessing in my life.

I was surprised (but not entirely shocked) to realise that my “madam” sensibilities are extremely similar to those of my mom.  The old adage that we   grow into our parents is definitely true in my case... (My mom would be very proud if she knew the truth). One thing that I am grateful for is that growing up in my mother’s home, I learnt a lot of things by osmosis. I may not have been conscious of it from an early age, but my mother had, and still has very definite ideas about how the relationship between her and her domestic helper should be. Here are some valuable lessons that I have come appreciate.

1.       She is there to HELP you:
One thing I observed was that none of the ladies that worked in our home did anything that my mom was not already doing. They were employed to make the load easier, to assist with the daily upkeep of the home. Khetsiwe is not a “slave” that I have employed to order around, whilst I pursue more desirable exploits. The ultimate responsibility of maintaining good housekeeping still rests squarely on me.

2.       Monkey see, monkey do:
I cannot and must not expect that Khetsiwe does something that she has not seen me do first. So if it is the way I wash my dishes (I have a method), clean the bathroom (cannot stand stains in the toilet bowl) or wash my clothes (also have a method), I have to lead by example, I must be the one to set the standard. Time taken to train and teach is never wasted.

3.       Strike up a Conversation:
The women that clean our homes are people with their own lives, dreams and aspirations. They are mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters and sisters elsewhere. It’s important to take an interest in them as a person, get to know them and their story. You can be surprised to learn something you wouldn’t have otherwise known.  Making assumptions is dangerous, and does not inspire confidence or trust. Khetsiwe has ambitions to enrol at the local Teacher’s College and is awaiting a positive response to her application.

4.       Sharing is Caring:
Generosity goes a long way. Too many of us like to “get away” with giving the barest minimum, be it money, time, food, clothes, knowledge etc. I strongly believe you lose nothing by going beyond what is expected. The best feeling in the world is to know that you are making a positive difference in someone’s life, and that what may seem small to you, can be appreciated as  something big by the next person.  See how you can assist her in moving forward in life. It could be a recommendation to friends which then means that instead of just working one day a week at your place. She can increase her earnings working for someone else as well for the remainder days of the week.

5.       TRUST:
Trust her to get on with the work. Don’t hover around, and be dogged about maintaining control. Show that you are free to trust her to do the work well and to your exacting standard without you around (yes be free to go to work, the shops, the bank etc). She understands the responsibility, and will hopefully take her work seriously enough to safeguard her employment (yeah I have an issue with this lesson...I’m a control freak! Still learning I guess)

I am still a novice at being a “madam”, but I would hope that I have started off on the right foot. I hope that Khetsiwe believes that I am a good and generous employer; that when she goes off to start her diploma in education in a few months time, (yes, I am hoping that her application is successful) she will be happy to recommend me as someone for whom it is great to work.

Press Pause...

I am workaholic; something inherited, and of course then fuelled by a rather demanding job.  I realised a few years ago that I thrive in high pressure, high energy situations (or at least I used to tell myself that). The problem with living in this constant gear of high drama is that sooner or later it takes its toll, and can become incredibly tiring. The need for balance is something that has been weighing strongly on me in recent months.

This past weekend I decided to take what is termed a “Strategic Time-Out” (those that are cricket fans will understand). A strategic timeout can be taken during a cricket match for a team to regroup and change tactics if they see that the match is not going their way. It’s a short intermission during the game, whose main purpose is to alter the performance of the team and hopefully the outcome of the game in the team’s favour. For a while I’ve been feeling the urge and desire to just switch off for a few days, and take a break from my life, and regroup as it were. During a conversation with one of my directors I expressed how tired I was (mentally, emotionally, and physically).  To my surprise he offered me a “weekend pass” to get away from it all, all expenses paid. I couldn’t believe it, but I quickly realised that it was the direct answer to my prayers, and grabbed this blessing with both hands. Ever the planner, I already knew what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go. The dream was to spend a relaxed weekend in the Kruger, see some game, rejuvenate at a Spa, and feel spoilt...hehehehehe... But yeah, not one to rip off my boss with a massive bill at a Five-Star facility, I decided to look closer to home, and was pleasantly surprised that for less than a third of the Kruger prices, I could do everything I wanted to do right here in Swaziland. The two days away from it all were great, a true gift. Yes, God is amazing!

 I’ve sometimes wondered what I would do if I could cause time to stand still, or change the direction of certain events in my life. Though I know I can’t make time stand still, I decided that it was important to have these few days of me being still. Apart from the obvious need for rest, I also desired that this would be an opportunity for real personal time for me, without the distraction of phone calls, laptops, even friends and family. I really needed to be alone with only my thoughts, and my bible, and re-view things as it were.  To some extent try to re-arrange things a little bit in my life so that the outcome tomorrow will be the most favourable, centred in God’s will for me. I felt desperate to get answers or solutions to issues that i am facing. A pow-wow with God, out of which i would emerge with a 10 point plan on how i was going to change my life!

We often get bogged down with the whole life routine. We focus on what is wrong, what is not working right, what is getting us down, and as a result we forget that there is a much bigger picture, of which we’re an integral part. We can’t actually stop the clock, but we can choose to stop, take a step back to gain a bit of perspective, and ask for God in His wisdom to direct us in the steps that we need to take to get us moving forward. There’s a beautiful song written by ‘70’s radical evangelist the late Keith Green “How Majestic is Thy Name” based on Psalm 8. It talks of the beauty of creation, everything that God has done and created. It then talks about man, and asks “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him”? In those solitary days of rest, I started asking myself that question. As His child he cares for me, my situation, my circumstances, my fears, etc. he made me a little lower than the Angels, he has given me dominion over the works of His hands, and put all things under my feet. I like what Hebrews 2:6(Amp) says “What is man that you are mindful of him, or the son of man that You graciously and helpfully care for and visit and look after him?” Surrounded by the incredible beauty of the African Bush, life in symphony: the birds, the trees, the river, the breeze, even the little gecko in my room; I had the realisation that God keeps it all going.  Every moment of each day, he sustains the beauty and life that surrounds us. Every creature has a purpose and a role to play. For each, God has made provision and anticipated its needs.  If he cares so much for nature and its creatures; how much more then for me, and the concerns and worries that i have? (Matthew 6 echoes the same sentiment).

Refreshed, recharged, re-energised and armed with nuggets of wisdom from God’s word, I head back to my life to resume “play”. The question is no longer how can I implement/re-engineer another strategy to get the outcome that I want; but rather it has been transformed to “How can I fulfil my part, play my God-appointed role in the greater orchestra that is life, and do it in a way that reflects, that i understand that He cares for and is mindful of me?”  This is the strategy that was birthed from my “Strategic Time-out”. The more I ask this of myself, the less I find myself worrying about things/life breaking down, because I have the confidence as well as the knowledge that the sustainer of life is ever attentive in relation to everything that concerns me.